Week 1 gave us A LOT to talk about, but we have to start with Team Tr3, because WHAT WAS THAT?! Tr3 came out swinging and absolutely demolished Team Jcnano99 188.46–132.66. Apparently nobody told him it was only Week 1. If this is any indication of what’s coming, Tr3 is setting the bar VERY high and already looking like a serious contender.

Now let’s travel all the way to the other end of the scoreboard, where we find Rallyray92. Ray put up the fewest points of the week and looked like a man who forgot fantasy football season had started. 😂 Unfortunately for him, Dangerous Ed was ready. After finishing 3rd and 2nd the last two seasons, Ed says there’s only one spot left to claim: CHAMPION. He started that mission with a 128.76 victory over Rallyray92.

Meanwhile, last year’s proud owner of the Mr. Pink title, Ranchwoods Gmoney 💰, started his redemption tour with a 112.50–93.64 win over Javier’s Scary Team. And Javier… we need to talk about the team name. Because after 93.64 points, Javier’s Scary Team wasn’t scaring anybody. 👻😂

Then there’s The Mauling, who barely escaped the Pink Shirt last season in his Fantasy Squad debut. New season, fresh start, right?

Wellllll… apparently not. 😂 The Mauling is already trying to figure out how to keep his head above water before that pink shirt starts calling his name again.

And finally… Ramzilla. 🦖

For a team with “zilla” in the name, there wasn’t much city-destroying going on in Week 1. The End is Near pulled out the leash and TAMED Ramzilla 130.16–103.56.

So after one week, we’ve got monsters, contenders, redemption tours, championship dreams…and a couple coaches who may want to make sure their fantasy apps are actually installed.

It’s still WAY too early to know who will rule the East and West.

But one thing is already clear:

Fantasy Squad is back—and nobody is safe. 🏈🔥

Dear Fantasy Couch,

My husband told me to get dressed because he was taking me somewhere nice for dinner. Just the two of us.

Then we arrived.

Nice restaurant? Yes.  

Good food? Yes.  

Romantic atmosphere? Almost.

There were also approximately 12 televisions showing football.

The table had a perfect view of the game. He somehow timed the  kickoff time. And when the 49ers scored, he celebrated louder than he did on our anniversary.

Am I wrong for feeling like I was tricked into attending Monday Night Football with appetizers?

— Third Wheel to the 49ers

🛋️ THE FANTASY COUCH SAYS

Dear Third Wheel,

Your husband, unfortunately for you, called one of the oldest plays in the Fantasy Football Husband Handbook:

The Fake Date Night.

Technically, he took you somewhere nice. Technically, you had dinner together. Technically, you never asked if there’s was going to be televisions 

The good news? This relationship is still salvageable.

Time to play some defense, Next “date night”, you choose the restaurant, make sure there’s at least one TV, your husband will ask. Then call ahead and ask to be seated far way from the TV so he can only check the score when he has to use the restroom 

Hopefully he doesn’t suddenly develop a bladder problem.

🏈❤️

— The Fantasy Therapist

Helping couples survive one football season at a time